the notebook

attachments

nanshii — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 12:10:44 +0000

People weave in and out of our lives all the time. The attachments we develop become us, and forge a path for what comes next. The people who matter – they start to transform our lives from the beginning, but when they decide to walk out on everything we have built together, we become a dreary tangle of near-perfect memories and old times. And at times, it strikes us we should let them go before we might truly lose them. But it’s enough to have them subside only in our memories as a reminder of what we used to have. So no matter how much it chips away at us, nothing will match the pain of watching them slowly walk out of our lives. So we grasp onto what we have left, and let them go with open arms.

Tagged: attachment, memories

winter

nanshii — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:18:23 +0000

It can’t be winter all year round. The snow starts to melt and the last remnants of the cold wash away in the wake of spring. The wounds that used to sting with bitter joy start to close up and the sunshine returns. Life is a cycle that rejuvenates as the seasons turn from the oranges of autumn to the bleak navy of winter. People walk out of our lives one year, and wind up back where they started like nothing changed. The holes gouged by the changing wind leave scars that can’t be seen from the outside. The pit inside though, wells with a kind of senseless hope, that shines a dim light on the eternal darkness raging within. And we start to heal. We start to fill up the holes. And by fall, the only traces left are mere shadows of our past.

Tagged: life, winter

drowsy

nanshii — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 03:58:30 +0000

Being drowsied by the shattering realities of our situation blinds us from everything else, from the joy we used to know and sometimes even the people we used to love. The world doesn’t stop turning even at our darkest moments. The darkest moments define us. They define whether we smile or cry, whether we drag ourselves out of bed in the morning or whimper quietly under the blankets.

But like all things, happiness never lasts. It’s the constant that isn’t actually constant. The goal that can’t be achieved even when you’re standing at the end of the tunnel and start reaching your hand out to touch the light.

Tagged: happiness, the end of the tunnel

constants

nanshii — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:15:24 +0000

Nothing in the world stays constant for very long. So how do we say goodbye when what defines us is taken away and we’re left to fend for ourselves in the midst of only what’s left of us to keep us company. How do we move on from what we know and love, and learn to stand on our own two feet?

It takes more than sitting on the grass staring into the sky to find what’s missing. It takes faith. A lot of faith.

Tagged: constants